Getting Ready for Christmas

We went out to Bismarck/Mandan for Thanksgiving to spend the holiday with Dan's side of the family. It was a long drive, but it didn't seem so bad! We have figured out to give the baby a bottle so we don't have to stop for feedings all the time, but its kinda funny since he is not too used to them. He doesn't object but it is a novelty. We had a lovely time visiting with all the relatives, especially the Hogan clan, with all the little cousins! Lucy made the trip out with us, but she will be staying with Grandma Bonnie and Grandpa Rod until January, since we will be out of town for a lot of December. Boy we miss her at home though!





We brought the boys for check-ups at the doctor last week. Gregory has gained over a pound and grown an inch since June! He also is no longer slightly anemic (yay!) Asher weighed just shy of 15 lbs and was 68th percentile for height! Unfortunately, it appears that he may have caught something while we were there and now he's feeling under the weather. I sure hope he recovers before our big trip!

We've put up a few decorations around here and done various holiday crafts and activities. Gregory is really getting into it all this year. He has a cloth finger puppet Nativity set, and has been playing with it quite a bit. Its funny, he acts out the whole scene of Mary giving birth, with sounds and all - guess what made a big impression on him this year!?!





We got a huge snow storm last weekend - it was the 5th most snowfall in recorded history here. The temperatures have also been downright frigid. We've been staying in, except for Dan, who did a whole lot of shoveling! I have to say we are looking forward to escaping to California on Saturday!

From 2010 12 12

From 2010 12 12

Asher is Five Months!

It can't be! How can it have happened? My newborn is already five months old! He loves to grab and chew on toys, fingers, sleeves, blankets, and anything else he can reach. He loves to stand up and hold up his own weight. He is rolling from tummy to back reliably, and even with clothes on! He blows bubbles and coos and laughs. He gets mad when you have to take a toy away from him. He pees on the potty!

That's right, he pees on the potty. Its called Elimination Communication (EC) and its really not as strange as it sounds! Basically, whenever you have the inclination, you just set your baby on a potty of some sort, or hold him over a sink or toilet (we mostly use a soft silicone kitchen bowl). Occasionally the baby will actually go pee or poo, and you can associate a sound with it (we use "psssss"). Pretty soon your baby kinda gets the idea to go when you sit them on the potty, and therefore, you end up with fewer soiled diapers. Think of it as just another way to take care of a baby's pee and poop needs, like a diaper alternative.

Its certainly not an all or nothing kind of thing - we sit Asher on the potty a couple of times a day, sometimes more, sometimes not at all. It just depends on whether I think about it. But he seems to really like it and lately I have been surprised to find he will stay dry for 3 or 4 hours in a diaper, as if he is holding it for the next chance to go on the potty. I am frankly amazed, considering how little we really do it. I am serious, we did it a little bit pretty early on, then really not at all for many weeks, then here and there maybe once every few days, and lately I've been trying to do it a bit more, but still often miss a day or two here or there. The most would be maybe 5 or 6 times in a day if we are at home and not doing much else and I am thinking about it. Then I just offer a "potty-tunity" at diaper changes. Its truly not stressful at all, and is actually pretty fun!

The point is not really to potty train them early, although that is a common result. My friend's daughter was recently out of diapers during the day at the age of 14 months, and another friend's son I believe was 17 months - these are people I know in real life! Anyway, the actual goals are a) to maybe use fewer diapers, which is good for the wallet and the environment, but more importantly, b) to increase the connection and communication between you and your baby, and c) to help your baby learn about and be aware of his body functions, which does set him up for easier potty training later on.

Let me go back to b) for a moment. At first, catching pees and poos is sort of just luck. But babies are way smarter than we give them credit for and they usually associate the action of using the potty and the cueing sound with their bodily functions pretty quickly. Contrary to popular belief, they actually can and do develop control over their functions. So then you are communicating with them and they are responding to you, and you having a real back and forth interaction. And pretty soon, you get in tune with your baby's expressions and you might even just start thinking, "I bet you need to go pee" and you find out you were right. You are in tune with the baby on a whole 'nother level! Its a little like knowing your baby's different cries for hungry, tired, bored, etc. You just know them better and you can just tell. I think this might be the most fun part - its rewarding for the baby because you are responding appropriately to his attempts to communicate with you, and its rewarding for you to know that you know your baby and his needs so very well. Its just a fun, no-stress, casual thing to do, and I hope you try it with your baby sometime!

Anyway, enjoy a few sweet pics of Asher at 5 months old! (I keep trying to get videos but they are not turning out...)


And one of him on the potty way back when he was only about 6 weeks old!

From 2010 07 31potty

The last warm day... or, the first cold day

Well once I posted on the blog that it was 70 degrees, nature decided to change it up. We had our first snow over the weekend! Gregory was finally big enough to go out and really play in it this year. He made his first snowman, with Daddy's help, and then had fun throwing snowballs at trees. We are talking about getting a sled, or as he suggests, a toboggan. There is a HUGE sledding hill a few blocks away at the park, but it would be much too big for him. I suppose we could just go partway up, but I have a feeling he would be very tempted to want to try it from the top. I think its too steep even for grown-ups!



Also enjoy Asher's verbal stylings...

Well its not winter here...yet!

So the last three days we have had about 70 degree weather, beautiful, sunny, a little breeze, and tonight we even had a little thunderstorm. Yes, it is November 10th. Yes, this is Minnesota. Chalk it up to global warming, but hey, I'll take it! We have been outside enjoying the blissful weather because we *know* it can't last forever!

Anyway, for Halloween, Gregory dressed up as a Superhero. I made his costume, which was a success except for the mask, which was uncomfortable for him if we tied it tight enough to make it stay on his head. Oh well! We went trick-or-treating with some friends and had a fabulous time! Last year, it was very cold and Greg didn't really get what was going on. He tried to run inside at the first house. This year, he was totally on the ball and kept up with the other kids, and even said "Trick-or-Treat!" and "thank you!" We didn't let him eat much candy, but he didn't even ask for it the next day and didn't seem to feel deprived at all. I am sure we won't be able to keep it from him in the future but its nice to have been able to get away with that this year! Asher rode around in my orange wrap, and I pinned on some eyes and a mouth that made it look like a jack-o-lantern, and I wrapped some green fabric around his hat to look like a stem. It was pretty cute considering the minimal effort!


Otherwise, we are just having fun around here and doing our thing. We have a pretty great routine with playgroups and preschool. Gregory is figuring out how to make Asher laugh, and I am sure it is the highlight of his day when Asher wakes up and he gets to "be sweet to him," which is exactly what it sounds like. Asher has been having plenty of naked time lately, in an effort to help him develop his body awareness and maybe start rolling over one of these days. He sometimes makes it from front to back, but I think its mostly still accidental, and he really has no clue how to go from back to front, though he did actually do it in his sleep this morning, oddly enough. I am sure its only a matter of time, and while I want to make sure he is developing as best he can, I have to admit, I want him to stay tiny and immobile because he's just so stinkin' adorable!

A few photos

Thought I'd put up a few photos before the Halloween extravaganza...

We had a little fun last weekend carving a pumpkin... And a friend of ours had a great birthday party at a bowling alley. We had the whole place to ourselves and the kids had a great time not only bowling but also running around in a little pack. Approximately ten 3 and 4 yr olds - quite hilarious!



Stay tuned for the Halloween adventures...

Asher's 16 Weeks

Well, actually, he's 17 weeks as of today, but I started writing this post last week! Anyway, I'm not willing to say he's 4 months yet - its not 4 months until the 19th, right? Time is just flying and our little guy is growing up so fast! He is working hard on grasping toys and getting them into his mouth. He loves biting and sucking on his hands, his blanket, and anything else he can get a hold of. He sometimes even pulls his pacifier out and starts sucking his thumb instead! He also has quite the sense of humor and smiles and giggles whenever we talk to him. He's even starting to like playing a little peek-a-boo.



Otherwise, we have just been trying to enjoy this blissfully mild fall. Grandma Bonnie and Auntie Kim were here for a visit last week, as always lovely to see them. Auntie Kim took lots more pictures but she hasn't sent them to me yet!

Enjoying Fall

I love Fall in Minnesota! Its so pleasant, and it lasts more than a week, in contrast to NE. Its been pretty rainy (south of here has had flooding) and we had a few days where it was a bit chilly with the breeze, but we've also had really gorgeous days, perfect for getting out for a little family walk after dinner. Many of the trees are starting to turn colors, but there are a lot that are still green. So I expect we will enjoy Fall for several more weeks to come.

We are adoring Asher more and more every day, if that is even possible. He's so sweet and happy! Chatty too... Incidentally, it seems he is not going to have Gregory's bright blue eyes. We thought he would, but they never lightened up. For now, they are a mysterious gray blue, with perhaps a bit of hazel coming in, but who knows. Maybe they'll be dark green? How would that be? - no one in the family with the same color eyes!

Fall Approaches

Well Summer wound down rather abruptly here, at least weather wise. One day it was still really hot, next day we are looking at a week of highs in the 60s! Well, we weren't quite ready for that and had to dig out long pants and long sleeves in a hurry. I am totally not prepared to give up my flip flops yet, so I guess my toes will just have to suffer a little longer. But actually the change is otherwise welcome. Gregory started going to preschool 3 mornings a week, so that is giving us a whole new routine. I also started a midwifery study program through the National Midwifery Institute. So of course, I'm trying to study while Gregory is not home. Asher is amazingly cooperative - he's such a nice baby! He is content to sleep most of the morning, with intermittent bouts of playing on the floor or nursing. I can really get a lot done with only him around!

August 30th was, of course, my birthday. My 30th birthday this year, so some would call that my Golden Birthday... We didn't do much but we did have cake. At least we tried to have cake - it was kind of a fail! But it tasted great.


Over Labor Day weekend, we went to Omaha. It was Asher's first big car trip. He did ok on the way down, but cried most of the way back, poor thing. He has since been quite testy in the car pretty much all the time, which is a major bummer. But still, if that's the only time he's ever upset, that's not too bad. Anyway, we had a lovely time visiting our friends in Omaha. Dan participated in a fantasy football draft. We barbecued with two different sets of folks, the old college pals, and my mommy friends. Both were wonderful. The kids had a great time playing together, especially now that they're all older and can actually talk to each other and play games like hide and seek. Very cute! Unfortunately, I did not seem to remember to get the camera out while we were there...here's one from the hotel room:

From 2010 09 03

The Grandparents have been out in full force in September. First Grandpa Mike and Grandma Coralie were down for a Vikings game. Then Grandma Bonnie and her friend, Laurie, came to visit and took Gregory to the Renaissance Festival. They had a great time. Grandpa Mike and Grandma Coralie are going to be here again this coming weekend for, you guessed it, another football game! Boy, we are already counting down the days til Christmas in California so we can get some good quality time with Grandma Mary and Grandpa Nick again!


And of course, I've been trying to get some more fun pics of Asher, he is growing so fast! He is about 13 lbs now, at 12 weeks, so seems to be slowing it down just a little. He seems really tall to me, though. I looked back and saw that Gregory did not hit 13 lbs until 4 mths, so I'll be curious to see if their size differences continue. I think I am figuring out that another reason that Gregory was/is so tiny, he never slept! Asher just sleeps so much, but I think its actually normal, and Gregory was the off kid that fought it so hard. I remember spending literally hours every day trying to get him down for naps, and then he'd only sleep 20 mins. Different kids! The first few of the following pictures are from Labor Day weekend, but the majority are from this morning - so you are up to the minute!

Interview with Gregory, Age 3

I just had to commemorate this to the blog - its too funny!

What do you want to be when you grow up? A firefighter, and a police officer. And when Asher grows up he can be a bumblebee, and when Daddy grows up he can be a hot dog, and when you grow up you can be a banana.

What is your favorite color? black

How do you make bread? Um, it’s a little tricky so I need someone else to help me, like you.

What is gravity? I don’t know, what?

Where do babies come from? Yonis

Where does electricity come from? I don’t know, where?

What would you do with $100? Put it in the mailbox.

If you could go anywhere in the world to visit, where would you go? To Sam and Tristan’s house

What is one new thing you would like to try this year? A new shirt. Right now.

What is one memory you have from this summer? Naptime!

If you could have only one present this year what would it be? A new shirt. Let’s get one right now.

What do you love about your brother? Holding him

What is your favorite food? Hmmm, ice cream and orange juice and brownies and cakes and pies. Those are all my favorite foods.

What is your favorite toy? My red robot. Actually, the picnic food.

What is your favorite thing to do? Wearing your slippers, Mommy. And sliding in water.

August Visitors

Last weekend my friend Michal and her son Xander visited. Its been almost a year since we've seen each other, and Xander has grown so much! He was a little baby last year and now, at 22 mths, he's a full blown toddler! Gregory had a bit of a hard time sharing some of his toys, but all in all, they had a fun time together. We just brought them along to our usual playgroups and other activities, and it was great to share some of my life, such as it is, with Michal. She is expecting her second baby next spring, so she was absorbing the scene with two kids! It was sad for me to see them go, but we're planning to visit them in Cincinnati after their new addition arrives.


Gregory is blooming as a brother, and has so much love and affection for the baby. He always wants to hug, hold, kiss, and be close to him. The other day Asher was laying on the floor in the living room and I was getting lunch together in the kitchen. It was a little too quiet in there so I peeked in to see what was going on. Gregory had brought a stack of books and was "reading" them to Asher. SO SWEET! I'm sure its every mother's wish that her children like their siblings, and obviously its pretty early, but so far all signs point to brotherly love in our house!


Asher is just growing like gangbusters and has really woken up these last couple of weeks. Well, he still sleeps a whole lot, but he seems to be much more aware of his surroundings and more responsive to us. He has started cooing a lot and having little conversations with us. He is also really enjoying having some playtime on the floor. We did end up going to the lactation consultant because he was having some trouble maintaining suction. Turns out his palate is rather short and flat, preventing him from getting a deep latch. Since he is growing fine, there is not much to be done and it will probably improve as he grows. But it is good to know what is going on, anyway.


Grandpa Mike and Grandma Coralie were in town this weekend. Yesterday we went to the State Fair. It was fun, but a little hot and crowded... Then Dan and Grandpa went to the Vikings preseason game. We always love when grandparents visit, and they'll be back in 3 weeks for more football. I guess Fall is approaching!

FINALLY!

Asher is 8 weeks old today and he started smiling! And we got a new camera to capture it and share the cuteness with the world... Its a reeeeaaally nice camera - we spent more than we should have... Gregory will NEVER touch it, so hopefully it will last us at least like 10 yrs! So now I'm having fun just experimenting with it and learning all its little tricks...

In addition to smiling, Asher has been enjoying some exercise. The gorgeous wooden toy hanger that was subsidized by Aunt Karen when Gregory was a baby is now dangling toys for Asher's delight! He's been awake a fair bit more these last couple of days. It might be a new developmental phase, or it might be a side effect of the antibiotics I have to take for the strep throat I caught this week (I don't recommend it...) Either way, its been kind of fun to see him start playing - he figured out how to kick his toy really quick and he loves it!


PS - I forgot to mention that Asher was up to 11.5 lbs at our 6 wk checkup...he must be up to at least 12 by now!

As for Gregory, he is getting ready to start preschool, and he got a brand new backpack and lunch box that he picked out himself. He is very proud of them!

Bad News

Our camera is broken. A certain little someone threw it on the floor and now the lens won't open. And it would cost at least $200 to get it fixed, and of course you can get a new one for that much...

But the upside - we get to get a new camera! I'm shopping, hoping to get something in the next few days - we have no time to waste with a rapidly growing tiny one around here!

Baby Blue Eyes?

I've been trying to coax more expressions out of Asher lately. He just sleeps so much, and when he's awake, he is fixated on eating and/or peeing and pooping! He does like to look out the window at the contrast of the trees and the sky, and has noticed the mobile above the swing. He always turns to locate Gregory when he hears him nearby. He likes to look in the mirror. But he just takes it all in - he's so serious! He still hasn't given us a real smile! Anyway, I am fairly convinced his eyes are blue - what do you think?

As I mentioned, Asher sleeps a lot, so this is how he usually looks to us:

From 2010 07 29b

And, he is already outgrowing his newborn clothes. The newborn diapers I made are long gone already and I have had to make bigger ones... and this was the first time he wore this brand new onesie, and it will be the only time! Love chubby babies, but I wish they didn't have to grow so fast!

From 2010 07 29b

Its hard not to compare your kids once you have two of them, especially when they are the same gender. Gregory and Asher have completely different temperaments, as babies anyway. Starting with his birth, I guess Asher is proving to defy my expectations. Those expectations are merely based on my previous experience of Gregory, though, so its no wonder! I have so much to learn! Here are some good comparison pics of the boys at about the same age - pretty easy to tell them apart by their hair color, though I do think you can see a likeness...

From G/A 5-6 wks

From G/A 5-6 wks

From G/A 5-6 wks

Dan turned 31 this past week, and we celebrated with a delicious ice cream cake. Last year, Gregory had just kind of gotten the concept of celebrating a birthday, and was none too pleased that it wasn't HIS! This year was a fair bit better, though he declined participation in singing Happy Birthday to Daddy. Clearly, he's still working through those feelings, but hey, its a lot better than last year!


In other news, we finally decided Gregory's fate for the fall: PRESCHOOL! He has been going sporadically (once-a-week-ish) to a small Montessori school and we decided that increasing to a regular three mornings a week would be perfect. This gives Mommy some sanity time, and gives him the chance to delve into more advanced learning. We love this little school because it is all of the opportunity and none of the pressure. Of course, when he gets there, the first thing he heads for is the number work, and at home he is always asking us to teach him to read, so we know he is ready for more stimulation and more challenge. He is already very good at sounding out a lot of simple words. This is what I walked into in the bathroom this evening...yes, it proves he has been watching far too much TV, but, hey, its educational!

From 2010 07 29b

5 weeks

Asher is five weeks old today. Sorry for the lack of posting - its very busy with two kids!

After my mom went home, we had about a week to ourselves and then Grandpa Mike and Grandma Coralie visited. We went to the Minnesota Children's Museum. Greg and I had gone about 6 mths ago and he was not quite ready for a lot of it. What a difference 6 mths makes! He was totally into it! Gma and Gpa enjoyed getting acquainted with Asher too! I think there are better pics on their camera though - like ones with Gma!


Remember that we had gotten a huge birthday cake for Gregory but Asher ended up being born on the day we were going to bring it to the park to share with our friends? Well we finally got another chance, so he finally got to have his song and blow out his candle! He's official now...


And lastly, some baby pics. I was looking back at pics of Gregory from the same ages. The two of them do look a lot different, though I can see some similarities. Well, they ARE related... Asher seems to be less expressive than Gregory, or else I just have less time to sit and take pictures of him! Honestly, though, he sleeps a lot more, and is a much more mellow kid in general. I am not complaining, in fact, its amazingly wonderful! But I am still waiting for that first real smile! I think Asher might just have a little bit of a serious personality. We'll just have to see how he comes along! We did get him a pacifier and a swing. We are pretty against baby gadgets, but the swing allows me to set him somewhere safe and comforting when I have to tend to Gregory, like to take him to the bathroom or get him down for a nap. So far, so good! Asher seems to like it pretty well, but not as much as being held, of course. I mentioned he is laid back, well as long as he is being held! But even when he is unhappy, his complaints are just little squawks, not the screaming we experienced last time! Anyway, its getting late, so enjoy the pics, and I'll try to be more consistent with posts! They do grow and change so much in these early days!

Some Firsts

I know you all are desperate for more baby pictures! Its true, we haven't been taking quite as many pictures as we did with the first-born, but there are a few new ones! We have been busy trying to figure out this two-kid thing. Thankfully, my mom (Grandma Mary) was here for the last week lending a hand. We really loved her company and she helped us a lot with getting out and about, helping me strategize about how to handle dealing with both boys when I am finally on my own.

Asher has been having a lot of "firsts," like his first bath, and his first outings! He has been taking it like a trooper. Actually, he is pretty laid back. He doesn't complain much, and when he does, its usually just a little squawk and he is easily comforted by holding or nursing. The last couple of days he has started being a little restless in the evenings, and definitely doesn't like to go anywhere in the car during that time, but as long as he has the boob and the sling, we get through it without much drama. Its certainly nice to not have to exhaust ourselves with the baby-soothing rituals!

Gregory has been adjusting, slowly but surely. He ADORES Asher, wants to constantly lavish him with affection. I cannot fault him for that! However, he has also been pretty sensitive and demanding a lot of attention. Its hard because that translates into a lot of rowdiness, noise, and tantrums...not exactly endearing. I keep telling myself that he needs compassion and extra affection, but man its hard not to get mad when he is whining and yelling and throwing things. Not to mention the total lack of any level of cooperation! I have had a lot of less-than-stellar parenting moments with him and am not real proud of myself for that. I'm working on it...

That being said, today was the first day that we did not have a Grandma around to help, and thankfully, it actually went fairly well. Gregory went to preschool, and we actually walked out the door at the time we said we would be there, which made us only about 15 minutes late. That is NOT bad, if I do say so myself! Asher and I ran a bunch of errands, and then picked Greg up. Lunch and nap went reasonably smoothly! All in all, I think we will be ok!

Here are the latest pics, with some captions!

Newborn Photos

On Sunday my friend Allison Kuznia, who happens to be a great photographer, came over to snap some shots. I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! Let me know if you want a print of anything! (they can all be done in color or black and white)

Just Hanging Out

Around here things are pretty chill. Asher and I are mostly laying around, though we are slowly venturing out of our nest a little. We've been into the kitchen quite a bit, down to the basement the other night when we were having a big thunderstorm, and today we even walked around out in the yard for a few minutes. It was nice to get a little fresh air and sunshine. It was Asher's first time in a sling...the new ring sling I made! We didn't use this kind with Gregory, but we really like it!


Dan worked from home on Friday and tomorrow will be his first day back at the office. Boy are we going to miss him around here! He has been keeping everything running smoothly, especially with the food and laundry. And there has been a LOT of laundry! Thankfully Grandma Bonnie is so good at entertaining Gregory, that should give me a chance to pick up on some of the household things without too much distraction from wild toddlers, anyway! Hey, he's 3 now, doesn't that count as "preschooler" now? He doesn't exactly toddle anymore... He sends his thanks to Grandpa Mike and Grandma Coralie for the neat learning books they sent for his birthday, too!


And today is our 7th wedding Anniversary! Wow, time flies! We didn't get to celebrate in any high style, but Dan is bringing home a nice little cake tonight - yum! I'm sure we'll get to go out to dinner sometime in the next few weeks when we have babysitters around!

"Lotus" Birth

Ok, first some new pictures...


You might have noticed in the pictures up to now, that Asher still has his umbilical cord attached. Not just the stump, the whole thing! For my non-birth-geek friends and family out there, this is a practice referred to as "Lotus" birth. In the US, this started as a really hippie thing to do out in California, and is still pretty fringey, even for natural birth and home birth people... All it really means is that you never cut the cord, but instead allow it to separate on its own, which usually takes 3-7 days. There is not a good physiological or evolutionary reason to do this, but some proponents believe there may be emotional/spiritual benefits to the baby. The placenta nourished the baby in the womb, and the baby may have an emotional attachment to it, and its nicer to let the baby "let go" of it in his own time. Another reason I've heard is not wanting to introduce any foreign instruments, such as scissors, into the birthing process.

For me, there were a couple of reasons I decided to try it out. I am just plain old curious about it, for one thing! But probably more important, I knew that keeping the placenta attached would mean a very different immediate post-partum period than what I had done last time. With Gregory, we had friends over the afternoon of the day he was born. I did not stay in bed at all. We began going out of the house the very next day, and I think Gregory was about 9 months old before there was literally A DAY that we did not go somewhere, even if it was the gas station or the grocery store. I really believe that this depleted me! So with Asher, I wanted things to be different. I know that I am going to need to be fully recovered in order to be a good mom to both my boys, and the time when I will be on my own with them is coming very quickly! So I am taking a full two weeks to "Lie In." I am planning on staying basically in my bed for the first week, and staying in the house for the second week, also probably mostly in bed.

This is incredibly hard for me! It is the 5th day, and already I am feeling lonely, stir crazy, and cabin feverish! I want to go out and sit with my friends in the park! I want to get up off my tailbone! I want to get back to life! I am having to reign myself in, keep telling myself all in good time, take it easy, you need to rest! One of the hardest things is seeing how Gregory is acting out. I want to go to him, to mother him, to help him deal, but I can't. At least not all the time - I have gone to him when he's been desperately out of control! You can't not go when your baby is screaming and crying that he needs Mommy! But even that has been limited and I've forced myself to let Dan and Grandma Bonnie take over for the most part. I am really grateful for their help, I can't imagine being on my own with both kids yet, but I guess its all part of the transition from being a mom of one to a mom of two. Its a huge bundle of mixed feelings!

SO, doing a Lotus birth is one strategy that is helping me to not overdo it these first days. With the cord attached to Asher, I can't just pop him in my wrap and run around the house or go places. He pretty much has to stay in bed, so I pretty much have to stay there with him. And other people find the cord and placenta to be a little cumbersome, and maybe even a little too personal, to want to handle the baby much. Dan was pretty annoyed when I said we were doing this, because it makes it hard for even him to hold and take care of the baby. He can, and he has, but the bulk of the baby care has fallen to me, I think even more than usual. And I believe that is how it should be. Mommy and Baby should be together. Other people should not be passing the baby around! There is plenty of time for that later, the first few days are just so precious for the mom and baby to bond, establish breastfeeding, etc. With Gregory, we did so much running around, and so much visiting, that when I look back, I really do feel that I let other people hold him too much, and I missed out on a bit too much of that sweet newborn time.

And I do believe there are benefits to the baby as well. I don't really buy into the whole idea that the baby has some emotional attachment to the placenta, though I guess I can't prove that they don't! I think the benefit comes from how you have to handle a baby who is still attached. It is incredibly different! You can't really put clothes on them, so skin-to-skin time is increased. You can't swaddle them, so holding time is increased. You can't move them abruptly from here to there because you have to move the placenta too, so you handle them much more gently and slowly, and move them around less in general. Even I was pretty insensitive to the senses of the newborn before this, but now I am realizing that this tiny baby has never been touched by hands before, or cloth, has never used his eyes before, has never heard sounds that were not muffled by water and heart rhythms. What a shock coming into this world must be for them! And then we bundle them up, snap them into a car seat, and whiz them all around the great big world without regard! No wonder Gregory screamed bloody murder every time we went anywhere in the car. No wonder he was such a crabby, cranky baby, crying for hours every night, having such a hard time falling asleep, and a hard time waking up too. It was borderline cruel to rush him around the way we did. So, Lotus birth = a much slower, kinder transition into this world for this new tiny boy.

When I say I was also just curious about Lotus birth, I am mainly referring to logistics. Also, I guess I wanted to "get to know" the umbilical cord and placenta better! A lot of home birth families, especially, DO something with the placenta. They plant it under a tree or rose bush, they make a painting with it, they dehydrate and encapsulate it and use it as medicine! We cut Gregory's off of him about 10 minutes after he was born, and unceremoniously threw it into the garbage. Oh, that just makes me so sad now. The midwives had a good look at Asher's placenta, as they always do, and then cut a few small pieces off. These were blended into a fruit smoothie, which I drank. Yes, I drank some of the placenta, raw, in a smoothie. Placentaphagy is shown to slow post-partum bleeding and help reduce the mood swings and even depression that can often affect new mothers. (In fact, all other mammal mothers eat their placentas too...) And by the way, I couldn't taste it at all.

Anyway, the rest of it, we wrapped up in a waterproof pad with a lot of salt and some lavender essential oil. We have kept this in a bowl next to Asher, and refreshed it daily. It doesn't smell at all...well, it smells like lavender! The first day, the cord was floppy and cold, and gradually shrank in diameter. The second day, it was getting dry in the middle, but still flexible at the belly button and placenta ends. It basically just got more and more dry, and pretty stiff, though it still had a little flexibility in it. We would just move the bowl from side to side, depending on how we wanted to hold Asher. It was a little awkward but not too big of a deal. We just wrapped the blankets loosely around him. The cord ended up having quite a bit of blanket fuzz on it!

Unfortunately, by yesterday afternoon, which was the 4th day, the cord was so dried out, it had basically shrunken and gotten pretty short. The bowl could really only be within about 12 inches of Asher's body. It was also getting pretty stiff, so that if we bumped it, it seemed to pull his belly button. By the evening, moving the bowl from side to side was really causing problems. If you didn't move it just so, it would twist, and poor Asher would cry. Around bedtime, I got to feeling like enough was enough. It was pretty close to detaching anyway, maybe a day away, but it was hurting my baby. I decided it would be best to just snip it off. But when I did, Asher really jumped and started wailing! He was agitated, restless, crying and pretty much inconsolable for the next 4 hours. It was like a magic spell had been broken. He finally fell asleep from exhaustion, and seems fine today. But something has really changed for me. Even though I've been thinking a lot about all of this, somehow today I haven't been able to stop myself from swaddling him up and lying him on the bed, instead of holding him on my chest while he's sleeping. I even got up and carried him into the living room! Obviously, these are things that would have happened soon enough anyway, but it seems premature. That little stump is still firmly attached, telling me maybe we are not ready for this just yet, warning me to slow down and stick to the plan. I feel a little weird about not being patient enough to let things happen in their own time. This Lotus birth journey has already taught me a lot, but clearly I still have more to learn.

The following are photos of the placenta and cord. They might be a little gross to some people, so view at your own risk!

Asher's First Days

What you've all been waiting for - more baby pictures! Also I realized I forgot to tell the vital statistics! Asher weighed 8 lbs, 4 oz. That's a quarter pound MORE than Gregory! He was 20 1/4 inches long, the same as Greg. If you didn't catch it way back when, his full name is Asher Everett Fix. Asher is a Hebrew name meaning "Happy (or) Blessed", and is the name of one of the sons of Jacob in the Bible. Everett has Germanic and English origins, and means "Strong as a wild boar." Happy, Blessed, and Strong - we hope so!

Big Weekend!

The last few days have been rather exciting at our house.

On Wednesday afternoon, Gregory went for his annual checkup at the doctor. He weighed 26.6 lbs and was 35 inches tall. He is about 5th percentile for his age! Hey, somebody has to be! He also had some blood drawn to check for lead levels, etc. He did not think that was very fun, and still won't let us take the bandage off... Oh well, it'll fall off eventually!

Gregory celebrated his third birthday on Thursday. He really enjoyed opening presents and playing with his new things: some books from Grandma Bonnie, mini Bilibos from Auntie Kayla, and a tutu (Vikings colors, of course) and a giant floor keyboard from Mommy and Daddy.


On Friday morning, a package from Grandma Mary and Grandpa Nick arrived. Gregory loved the ViewMaster, plastic bugs, Tu-tok-a-nula book, and CD. Then we got ready to head out for the day. Our Attachment Parenting group here in the Twin Cities is very active, and this weekend was their camping trip. Being close to the end of my pregnancy, we opted not to actually camp, but the site was only about 10 mins away, so it was easy to go hang out. We spent a lot of the day on Friday there, came home for nap and dinner, and went back to play a little more and have S'mores in the evening.



That morning, I had (TMI warning!) lost some of my mucous plug, but nothing else new was really going on and being two weeks before my due date, I really didn't think too much of it. Well when we got home from the camping site I really was getting a bit uncomfortable. I couldn't really sleep and by about 11:30 I was getting up to the bathroom quite a lot. Dan said twice that maybe we should call the midwife, but it wasn't until about 12:30 that I really started considering calling someone. By then I was really having contractions, feeling shaky and nauseous and making labor noises. I called my doula, Janine, at 1 and told her I wasn't sure if I was really going to have the baby tonight. She decided to come over. Shortly thereafter we also called the midwife, Clare. She headed over too. Interestingly, neither of them had gone to bed yet!

Labor progressed slowly, contractions seemed far apart, but strong, and I was feeling normal in between them. There would be a short one, a little harder one, and then a few big ones in a row that sent me retreating to the bathroom. Pretty soon our other midwife, Emme, arrived. I felt bad that I had all these people out of bed waiting for me and it didn't seem to be going anywhere. After all, there had been many lighthearted comments about a one-hour labor during our prenatal visits. Usually second babies come quicker than the first, and Gregory only took a little over 3 hours... So much for that theory! By 3:30, Dan and I were getting pretty darn tired. I was just so sleepy and things were going really slow. We just rested in between contractions and actually got some sleep. When the sun started coming up, seemed like things started to pick up again a little. Gregory woke up and started doing his thing, and he brought a lot of energy. I sat in the bath tub for a little while to try to relax, and while it was nice, it didn't really help move things along. We all had a chat and figured the baby must be in a strange position. Emme and Janine felt my tummy during a contraction and they thought they might be feeling a shoulder above my pubic bone. Clare and Emme thought an inversion (going upside down) would be good, followed by lunges. At that point, I was willing to try it, knowing it would make everything hurt worse, but also knowing that we had to go there to get the baby unstuck. Well it worked! By halfway through the lunges, there was definite progress. My body started pushing hard. Though I had been leaking fluid for a while, there was a big pop and gush. We were in the carpeted living room so thank goodness the midwives had laid down plenty of waterproof pads! I was kind of standing up, holding onto Dan for support, but as the baby's head came down, it felt like I didn't have enough room for him to get out. I asked them to help me down to a knee. With another contraction or two, the head was born. Another one, and he was here! It was 8:10 am. He cried a little right away and I sat down on the floor with him. Emme, then Janine sat behind me for support.

I really still could not believe he was born already! He was so cute, looked a bit like Gregory did, and was surprisingly chubby for being two weeks early. Dan didn't think he looked as big as Greg was. His hair looked dark, but seems like it always does until it gets washed, which we still haven't done! I think he has a dimple on the right too, but I've only seen it a couple times.

Aside from being significantly longer than my first labor, this time also seemed a lot harder. I think a lot of it was mental. I just didn't feel ready. We had planned on having a birth pool set up ahead of time, but we didn't even have it in the house yet. Our water was all rusty from some plumbing work we had done earlier in the week, so even if we had set up a pool, I am not sure we would have used it with the rusty water anyway! None of our support people (i.e., Grandmas!) for Gregory were in town yet. So I guess I was just not mentally ready to have the baby, but he had other ideas. Much of the beginning of labor felt like a tug of war between my head and my body. I wasn't really committed. Even when I cut off the yarn from my Blessingway and said I was committed, I didn't really feel like it in my heart. I think it wasn't until the morning, when I was so tired, I just couldn't really fight it anymore, I gave up, stopped thinking, and started just doing what I was told! I don't know that it could have been any other way. This baby had positioning issues throughout the whole pregnancy, which I had done a lot of bodywork to try to correct. He just had his own needs, his own way he needed to come out, which was not the easiest way. I hope that if that is a character trait, that he just does things his own unconventional, yet ultimately successful way, not necessarily the "hard way" in life! I am quite sure that if I would have been in the hospital with an epidural, I would have ended up with a c-section. But with the great support I had at home, we were able to get through it. I hope I can be that kind of support for Asher as he grows, to help him get through things and not end up scarred!

Well, its only been a day and a half, but we are all completely in love with our new little guy. He nurses like a champ already. We decided not to cut the umbilical cord, for no other reason than that I didn't feel like it. We're putting salt and lavender on the placenta and the cord is drying out and will probably fall off tomorrow or the next day. We are staying in bed, except for bathroom breaks, another difference from Gregory's birth, when we were up and going out right away. I tell ya, babymooning in bed is such the way to go! However, this might be the only time that I do regret not having a TV in the bedroom! Poor Dan has been trying to keep up with Gregory until Grandma Bonnie arrives tomorrow afternoon. Greg has been acting a little nutty, which I am sure is to be expected. He is just so loud and rowdy...but he really adores Asher, wants to be near him, give him hugs and kisses, and bring him clothes, toys and books. Here are some pictures for now, and we'll keep adding more as the days go on!

New Baby Preparations

We are on the final countdown before the new baby arrives. The infant car seat is installed in the van, the diapers are all stocked in the dresser, the birth kit is assembled. Our weekly check-ups with our midwife team continue to go great - baby is healthy, mommy is healthy. Mommy is also getting really uncomfortable! However, a weekly regiment of chiropractic adjustments and massages have been helping a lot!

On Saturday night, my wonderful friend and doula, Janine, along with our friend Allison, hosted a Blessingway for me. A Blessingway is a different kind of baby shower. Instead of bringing presents and playing silly games, guests bring special food, a bead for a necklace, and share a lot of good wishes and good energy for the birthing mom. Its a time for the community of women to come together to support her and to honor the milestone in her life. There were a lot of beautiful rituals, starting with a welcome chant and sage-incense cleansing of the house, which is meant to clear away negative energy. I was crowned with a flower wreath, then we shared a meal of foods that reminded each woman of her own mom, family, or comfort. The bead necklace is made up of beads chosen by each woman for the mom, for her to wear or have in her space during her birth. Guests also wrote intentions on cloth squares, which will be made into prayer-flags to hang up in the birth space as well. We did a really wonderful ceremony of releasing fears, where each person was able to express a fear to be released by sprinkling sage on a flame. Then we had a yarn ceremony, tying us all to each other in a web of support. Everyone will wear their red yarn bracelets until the baby is born. Much pampering ensued, including a shoulder massage, foot washing and massage, hair brushing and braiding, and henna design on the belly. We had plenty of henna left, so everyone else got a small design too! I can't express how loved and supported I felt being the center of all this amazing feminine attention! Its amazing to be part of a community that takes care of each other this way!
Photography by Allison Kuznia

Gregory had fun playing with my flower crown too!


Sunday morning we had a photographer come over to do some maternity photos. It was a little damp and muddy, but we made the best of it! Its been hard for me to take a lot of pictures of myself this pregnancy, partly because I'm always chasing Gregory, and partly because I am a lot bigger this time and its hard to see! But Gabby managed to make me feel beautiful. I think of it as documenting the first stage in a series of upcoming changes - waiting, birthing, getting to know our new baby...its a transition process into a new phase of our lives.
Photography by Gabby Hagelstrom


This Thursday will be Gregory's 3rd birthday! I can't believe my baby is such a big boy, and we have a few special little things planned for him, which I'll update afterwards! It's great to have a chance to spoil him and give him a lot of attention right before the new baby comes! He also has a Dr checkup and his first trip to the Dentist coming up, so there will be a lot to share!

Spring Recap

Here's some pics from this spring. We've been keeping busy, going to a lot of playgroups and otherwise entertaining ourselves. We have a nice little routine of taking it easy in the early morning, heading out to play, and napping after lunch. Gregory has a lot of friends that he enjoys seeing regularly at playgroups. I enjoy the company of their moms too! It is a real blessing to have found a wonderful community of friends here, and we are starting to feel like we really belong. I can't believe its been almost a year since we moved here!

We are definitely enjoying the Minnesota spring weather - we have had a nice long period of mild weather here. Its very different than Omaha, where it seemed to turn from cold to hot overnight. We went to some outdoor things as soon as it was tolerable to be outside, like the zoo. Dan was pretty busy studying for his exam at the end of April, but we stole some quality time when we got the chance... We are very much appreciating all his free time now that the exam is over!


As the weather has warmed up, we have spent more and more time playing outside, of course!


We visited the Minnesota Children's Museum for the first time. It is much bigger than Omaha's, and also geared for kids a bit older than Gregory. There were still plenty of things he enjoyed, but there were also a lot of things that were over his head, or even scary, like the dinosaur exhibit! I don't think we'll be getting a membership there for a few more years, but we'll probably go every once in a while if our friends are going...


We had a quiet Easter weekend at home, just enjoying each other. We went to a neighborhood Egg Hunt, complete with a petting zoo. Gregory thought that was pretty neat. He had a good time gorging on his Easter Basket goodies too... As you'll see, its a little hard getting nice pictures of him any more - he really hams it up...at least he is having fun!


I am sure there are more pictures on the camera just waiting to be downloaded, so hopefully I'll be able to get to them soon. Need to be all caught up before the baby comes...6 more weeks! Look forward to more frequent updates after that!

He's Got Skillz

Gregory has been doing a lot of growing up lately, experiencing a major phase of motor skill development. Maybe its just because its been such a long time since the big skill developments of the first year, but I am just astounded every day at the things he is suddenly doing! He is climbing on everything, jumping off of said things, and hopping, twirling, somersaulting, and otherwise flailing all over the place! He does frog leaps, gets quite a bit of air on his hopping, and experiments with balancing on one foot. He is also constantly dancing, even imitating some dances he has seen on TV, like ballet! He is getting much better at using a spoon to eat things like cereal with milk, without making such a huge mess. He has an increased interest in coloring and drawing, going from just scribbling without regard, to trying to actually color in the picture on the coloring book page. Perhaps one of the most amazing things to me was when he grabbed a crayon and a blank paper this last week and drew something, saying "This is a G." Sure enough, it was actually a G, though backwards!! Incredible! I have never attempted to teach him to write, but of course we do show him the letters and his name, etc. Yesterday he was drawing reasonable semblances of spiderwebs. I can't wait to see what he draws next! He's drawing recognizable pictures - WHAT!?!

Another major accomplishment is that he suddenly is able to keep himself dry during sleeping times. This happened spontaneously when we visited Omaha at the end of Feb. He did not dirty a diaper or have an accident on the entire 5 day/4 night trip! He has been in regular undies during the day for a few months now, but today we took him to buy some "big boy nighttime underwear" aka padded training undies to be worn with a wool cover at night, just in case. Goodbye diapers, at least for a few months! There is a part of me that thinks surely he will regress any day now, but then again, considering all the other major leaps lately, maybe not!

Another fun thing is that Gregory has been showing increasing interest in his baby brother. He loves to look at pictures of developing babies in a couple of books we have. He often asks me if he can feel the baby kicking, and I think that just the other night he actually did feel a little kick! He loves to hug and kiss my belly and talk to Asher through my belly button. He will tell anyone who asks that his baby brother Asher is inside Mommy's tummy, and when he comes out he will share the milkies with him! He is down to nursing only once or twice a day for only about a minute at a time, which is just fine with me! He might increase again once the milk comes back, and that will be fine too! He has also been pretending to nurse all of his dolls lately, which is too cute. He has been paying more attention to the babies at our playgroups, and is always very sweet, touching their cheeks and noses so gently, and giving them hugs. He is going to be a wonderful big brother!

I guess there has been one downside to all this growth - seems that whatever level of impulse control he had before (and it wasn't much) is completely gone! Or maybe its just that since he is using his body in all these new ways, he is thinking of lots of new and impulsive things to try. Things like hitting other kids, throwing stuff, dumping things out, banging on everything in sight, and making really loud irritating noises. Ah, to be two and a half... This too shall pass, right!?!



Ballet Dancing


"G"

From 2010 03 07G

Christmas Pictures Overwhelmed Me!

Finally getting up the motivation to go through them all!

Gregory and I went out to CA a week before Dan, so we went on many adventures to entertain ourselves and enjoy the nice weather! He loved feeding the fish at the Japanese Gardens, feeding ducks at El Dorado Park, and seeing all the animals and riding the rides at the Santa Ana Zoo. We actually repeated a couple of these fun free things once Daddy joined us.


We got a chance to spend time with all the Aunties and Uncle Benny, hanging out, making music, and checking out the town...


When Dan came, we went to an amazing new children's museum called Pretend City. It was pretty awesome!


Christmas Eve was really fun at Aunt Vicky's house with all the favorite traditions. Gregory was really into it this year! We tried to help him turn his focus from getting presents to giving presents by having him help with package management and distribution! He really did love his gifts, though, and wanted to stop and play with each thing so we had to remind him to finish opening the rest first! He is still in love with all the new fun things he got - our family does such a great job spoiling, eh, I mean, shopping for him! As always, we concluded the evening with our caroling boat ride. I included a couple of videos so you can experience it a little, its really very dark without the camera flash, the lights outside are awesome, and this year Gregory really got into the singing too...the kid has a good ear and is a quick study on lyrics too. He still breaks out in a round of Jingle Bells every now and then!





Christmas morning was another round at Grandma Mary and Grandpa Nick's house, of course with stockings and more presents, and a fabulous breakfast!


And for Grandma Mary's birthday we all went to Disneyland. Gregory remembered a lot from when we went in June, and we got the chance to do some things we didn't do then, like riding It's a Small World and meeting some of the characters. Many small kids are afraid but Gregory went right up and got hugs from all his favorites, especially Mickey. I was amazed! He wore his First Trip to Disneyland shirt, even though it was his second time, and he also got his first set of embroidered Mickey ears... I couldn't believe how choked up I got when he got so excited to see Sleeping Beauty's Castle light up at dusk...I maintain its because of my hormones... We did brave the Pirates ride, which he thought was ok but kinda scary, and the Haunted Mansion, which was definitely too scary! We'll skip that one next time for sure. Seems like I can't find a lot of pictures I remember taking, but maybe they were on someone else's camera?? Anyway, we had a fabulous time and it was so fun to share it with Dan this time! We are already talking about when we will get to go again. If at all possible, I think this might become another Christmastime tradition!


Here are some videos from Disneyland too, though I can't actually embed them because they are on Auntie Audrey's page...go watch, though, they are fun! http://www.youtube.com/user/mstruthchaser#p/u

We had to say our goodbyes a little earlier than usual this year, because we had to get back to the midwest to go to Fargo for a very special New Year's event, the baptism of Gilbert, the son of Patrick and Keri, who are Gregory's godparents. Dan and I were honored to be Gilbert's godparents, so I guess that makes them godbrothers! Grandpa Mike actually officiated the ceremony, and he and Grandma Coralie brought even more presents! Patrick, Keri and Gilbert stayed overnight with us on their way home to Chicago, but we wish they could have stayed longer! Gilbert is the sweetest little guy! It was a wonderful way to wrap up the holidays!


It has actually been over a month since the holidays were over and I have gotten out the camera a little bit since then...but this post has fried my brain, so the rest will have to wait!

It's a.....

BOY!!!!!!!!!

Two little guys in our family! I think it will be so nice to have brothers, though admittedly I was a tiny bit disappointed that it wasn't a girl. That's ok, maybe there will be another chance for that someday!

We are 95% sure on the name: Asher Everett Fix

Also the ultrasound did not show any abnormalities so it seems he is healthy and there should be no issues going ahead with our plan to birth at home. The midwives we chose are so wonderful and I am enjoying doing a little prenatal yoga. We took a little childbirth class taught by our friend Janine, which was fun and it was nice to bond with some other couples who are also planning home births. From here on out, its just about trying to eat better, exercise more, and grow little Asher until he's ready to come out!