Sunday, December 17, 2006

Inspired

So as we've been thinking about how to prepare for this baby, we've explored a number of different ideas. But we keep coming back to an experience we had a couple of summers ago. We visited our friends Jenny and Troy and their 4 month old daughter Elsie in Minneapolis, and we were inspired by Elsie's room. It was like no other nursery we had ever seen - no crib, no cutsie characters adorning the walls, no loud plastic toys strewn about. Instead there was a regular mattress on the floor, the walls nearby were lined with mirror, and a small shelf with one or two wooden rattles was next to the bed. Black and white portraits of family members were mounted at baby eye level. Jenny explained that this was the Montessori way of doing a baby's room - natural for them, as Jenny is a Montessori teacher.

What struck a chord was that the room was for the baby - for her exploration and enjoyment - prepared for her specific needs. A stark contrast to the usual infant's nursery, where things are typically designed to confine baby or otherwise serve the convenience and/or whimsy of the parents. I freely admit that I have coveted the cute crib sets at the store - especially the chenille one with the bumble bees!! But the baby won't care at all about the cuteness of the bedding. The baby will care about seeing the world, making visual maps of the environment, absorbing information about physical relationships and laws, and as soon as possible, moving out to inspect things more closely.

Jenny recommended a few books and a catalog company called Michael Olaf, which we promptly checked out (see our registry). I'll try to summarize a couple of the more interesting ideas - Jenny correct me if I'm wrong!! One of the central ideas is that children develop best when provided with an environment that challenges them at just the right level. Too much difficulty leads to excessive frustration, but too much help takes away the opportunity for them to problem solve, develop new skills, and ultimately, build up their self esteem. So one of the most important roles of the adult is to monitor and prepare the child's environment. This allows the child to do things for themselves "just as soon as they are able." We love how this philosophy encourages kids from the very beginning to gain self esteem from their own accomplishments instead of from adult approval. How empowering for them!

We have been impressed with the implications about baby accessories and toys in particular. First, it suggests that unrealistic toys are of little use to a child whose purpose is to learn about the real world. Give them things made of real materials: wood, metal, cloth. Montessori has lots of carefully designed and time-tested toys that are not only lovely, but have characteristics that present fundamental information about size, shape, color and movement separately so the child can focus on these different features without distraction or overstimulation. Second, it reveals how a lot of the gadgets we have for our convenience could potentially hinder the child's development in various ways, or at the very least, reduce or postpone certain learning opportunities. Swings, cribs, bouncy chairs, etc., might work to soothe baby (or parents' minds) but in the long haul, really just restrict baby's movement. Another interesting example, the high chair: a fabulous thing to confine baby during mealtime, and raise them up off the floor to save Mom and Dad's backs as junior learns to eat solid foods. Montessori suggests that the child can learn more by using a child-sized table and chair instead. The child has to learn the consequences of getting up before the meal is over. They become responsible for their own behavior - an important lesson I have also learned from dog training. They can also be taught from a much earlier age to help set and clean up their table. Yes, you're most certainly asking for more messes in the beginning, but you deal with it...kids and floors are washable!

Anyway, I don't want to end up repeating the entire contents of several books here, but hopefully you sort of get the idea, and maybe you're just as intrigued as we have been. Ultimately, we are going to give these funny ideas a try to start out. We're going to make the Montessori nursery, and we want to try to provide the simple toys and other environmental things. We want to try to go without a high chair, swing, bouncy seat, etc. We want to avoid the crazy plastic baby entertainers and the like. In general, the simpler it is, the better. This style feels right to us and really fits in with a lot of the other lifestyle changes we've made in the last several months - trying to purge artificial chemicals and unhealthy foods and products from our home. It is definitely less convenient this way, but we're already sort of used to giving up some convenience for a worthwhile benefit, so it doesn't bother us!

Now this doesn't necessarily mean we are going to send our kids to Montessori school - we haven't decided about that yet! About a year after we first visited Jenny, Troy and Elsie, we saw them again and asked if they thought the way they did things was useful, or made any difference? They couldn't say for sure, but Elsie is certainly happy, precocious, independent and self-assured. Maybe its just her personality, but the Montessori lifestyle probably didn't hurt. And for us, its aesthetic is appealing enough to make it worth trying. Maybe just like a lot of other things for babies these days, its just to make the parents happy anyway!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Belly Pics

Ok, here you go...click the thumbnail

Image hosted by Webshots.com
by hollydlr

2nd Trimester

We've officially been inducted into the second trimester - yay!! Its going by so quickly, and yet it also seems like hardly anything has happened. My belly popped out a little bit around the 10th week, and hasn't seemed to change much since then - I don't know, maybe its a little bigger. Anyway, I'm still in the "little bit fat" looking stage. We'll probably take a picture tonight and put it up here. Its good to have a record.

So, the midwife said today that the baby is perfectly fine - growing appropriately, so nothing to worry about. The heart rate was around 160, which is just fine, although baby didn't like the cold of the gel, or the pressure of the doppler or something - kept moving out from under it while she was trying to count! BTW, according to the old wives' tale, a heart rate of above 140 means its a girl - but that relationship has not borne out in statistical comparisons - in other words, its not true. I guess we'll see!

Speaking of moving, a lot of people will tell me I'm imagining things, but I'm pretty sure I've felt the baby move a little bit this past week. I just was noticing these funny little feelings that didn't feel like anything else (i.e. gas) and of course it was getting my attention during times when I was sitting still - in the car, on the couch, trying to fall asleep. Its only been a handful of times, just this past week, but the midwife said its possible and thats probably what it is. Anyway, its kinda neat and I can't wait for it to get stronger and more frequent. I'm sure I'll be regretting I wished that when he/she is kicking me in the lungs and jumping on my bladder!! Otherwise, I still don't want to eat much and I'm still tired all the time - they say thats supposed to get better soon. I guess the holidays will certainly tempt my appetite!

So, in about a month we get to have our ultrasound to check out ALL of baby's parts - we'll let you know what we find out!! They'll also check my blood sugar and insulin then, since its always a worry for me. In the meantime, have a great Christmas and New Year's - especially those of you we won't get to see - we miss you!

Friday, November 17, 2006

Pitter Patter

We went back to the midwife today to see if we could hear the heart beat with the Doppler. No problem!! The little one wasn't even as deep down as she thought. She said now there is a less than 5% chance of miscarriage - thank God!! Not that I was worried - I knew this baby was going to be fine from the beginning. He or she is certainly making their presence known, making Mommy feel sick all the time. At this rate, I'm not going to gain any weight - but I'm sure in a few weeks I'll be over it and binging on pickles and ice cream at 2 am. But as it is, I can't decide if I'm hungry or if I want to throw up!!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Hello and 9 wk update

Welcome to our website! Hopefully this will help to keep everyone updated about the pregnancy and the baby. By the way, we are due in the middle of June!

For those who haven't heard the story, its been quite a journey getting to this point. After Holly's diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) last spring, we were surprised by a spontaneous pregnancy, which unfortunately became a miscarriage in the middle of July. Thankfully though, with our first round of medication and monitoring at the fertility clinic, we have a healthy pregnancy - just one baby! We are now under the care of Holly's regular midwife and everything looks super so far. We did have a bit of a scare from 4 large ovarian cysts, which were a by-product of the fertility drugs, but they seem to be resolving on their own, and we've been given the go-ahead for mild exercise. Recheck in a week. Hopefully I'll figure out a way to get the ultrasound pictures scanned and posted soon.