Newborn Photos

On Sunday my friend Allison Kuznia, who happens to be a great photographer, came over to snap some shots. I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! Let me know if you want a print of anything! (they can all be done in color or black and white)

Just Hanging Out

Around here things are pretty chill. Asher and I are mostly laying around, though we are slowly venturing out of our nest a little. We've been into the kitchen quite a bit, down to the basement the other night when we were having a big thunderstorm, and today we even walked around out in the yard for a few minutes. It was nice to get a little fresh air and sunshine. It was Asher's first time in a sling...the new ring sling I made! We didn't use this kind with Gregory, but we really like it!


Dan worked from home on Friday and tomorrow will be his first day back at the office. Boy are we going to miss him around here! He has been keeping everything running smoothly, especially with the food and laundry. And there has been a LOT of laundry! Thankfully Grandma Bonnie is so good at entertaining Gregory, that should give me a chance to pick up on some of the household things without too much distraction from wild toddlers, anyway! Hey, he's 3 now, doesn't that count as "preschooler" now? He doesn't exactly toddle anymore... He sends his thanks to Grandpa Mike and Grandma Coralie for the neat learning books they sent for his birthday, too!


And today is our 7th wedding Anniversary! Wow, time flies! We didn't get to celebrate in any high style, but Dan is bringing home a nice little cake tonight - yum! I'm sure we'll get to go out to dinner sometime in the next few weeks when we have babysitters around!

"Lotus" Birth

Ok, first some new pictures...


You might have noticed in the pictures up to now, that Asher still has his umbilical cord attached. Not just the stump, the whole thing! For my non-birth-geek friends and family out there, this is a practice referred to as "Lotus" birth. In the US, this started as a really hippie thing to do out in California, and is still pretty fringey, even for natural birth and home birth people... All it really means is that you never cut the cord, but instead allow it to separate on its own, which usually takes 3-7 days. There is not a good physiological or evolutionary reason to do this, but some proponents believe there may be emotional/spiritual benefits to the baby. The placenta nourished the baby in the womb, and the baby may have an emotional attachment to it, and its nicer to let the baby "let go" of it in his own time. Another reason I've heard is not wanting to introduce any foreign instruments, such as scissors, into the birthing process.

For me, there were a couple of reasons I decided to try it out. I am just plain old curious about it, for one thing! But probably more important, I knew that keeping the placenta attached would mean a very different immediate post-partum period than what I had done last time. With Gregory, we had friends over the afternoon of the day he was born. I did not stay in bed at all. We began going out of the house the very next day, and I think Gregory was about 9 months old before there was literally A DAY that we did not go somewhere, even if it was the gas station or the grocery store. I really believe that this depleted me! So with Asher, I wanted things to be different. I know that I am going to need to be fully recovered in order to be a good mom to both my boys, and the time when I will be on my own with them is coming very quickly! So I am taking a full two weeks to "Lie In." I am planning on staying basically in my bed for the first week, and staying in the house for the second week, also probably mostly in bed.

This is incredibly hard for me! It is the 5th day, and already I am feeling lonely, stir crazy, and cabin feverish! I want to go out and sit with my friends in the park! I want to get up off my tailbone! I want to get back to life! I am having to reign myself in, keep telling myself all in good time, take it easy, you need to rest! One of the hardest things is seeing how Gregory is acting out. I want to go to him, to mother him, to help him deal, but I can't. At least not all the time - I have gone to him when he's been desperately out of control! You can't not go when your baby is screaming and crying that he needs Mommy! But even that has been limited and I've forced myself to let Dan and Grandma Bonnie take over for the most part. I am really grateful for their help, I can't imagine being on my own with both kids yet, but I guess its all part of the transition from being a mom of one to a mom of two. Its a huge bundle of mixed feelings!

SO, doing a Lotus birth is one strategy that is helping me to not overdo it these first days. With the cord attached to Asher, I can't just pop him in my wrap and run around the house or go places. He pretty much has to stay in bed, so I pretty much have to stay there with him. And other people find the cord and placenta to be a little cumbersome, and maybe even a little too personal, to want to handle the baby much. Dan was pretty annoyed when I said we were doing this, because it makes it hard for even him to hold and take care of the baby. He can, and he has, but the bulk of the baby care has fallen to me, I think even more than usual. And I believe that is how it should be. Mommy and Baby should be together. Other people should not be passing the baby around! There is plenty of time for that later, the first few days are just so precious for the mom and baby to bond, establish breastfeeding, etc. With Gregory, we did so much running around, and so much visiting, that when I look back, I really do feel that I let other people hold him too much, and I missed out on a bit too much of that sweet newborn time.

And I do believe there are benefits to the baby as well. I don't really buy into the whole idea that the baby has some emotional attachment to the placenta, though I guess I can't prove that they don't! I think the benefit comes from how you have to handle a baby who is still attached. It is incredibly different! You can't really put clothes on them, so skin-to-skin time is increased. You can't swaddle them, so holding time is increased. You can't move them abruptly from here to there because you have to move the placenta too, so you handle them much more gently and slowly, and move them around less in general. Even I was pretty insensitive to the senses of the newborn before this, but now I am realizing that this tiny baby has never been touched by hands before, or cloth, has never used his eyes before, has never heard sounds that were not muffled by water and heart rhythms. What a shock coming into this world must be for them! And then we bundle them up, snap them into a car seat, and whiz them all around the great big world without regard! No wonder Gregory screamed bloody murder every time we went anywhere in the car. No wonder he was such a crabby, cranky baby, crying for hours every night, having such a hard time falling asleep, and a hard time waking up too. It was borderline cruel to rush him around the way we did. So, Lotus birth = a much slower, kinder transition into this world for this new tiny boy.

When I say I was also just curious about Lotus birth, I am mainly referring to logistics. Also, I guess I wanted to "get to know" the umbilical cord and placenta better! A lot of home birth families, especially, DO something with the placenta. They plant it under a tree or rose bush, they make a painting with it, they dehydrate and encapsulate it and use it as medicine! We cut Gregory's off of him about 10 minutes after he was born, and unceremoniously threw it into the garbage. Oh, that just makes me so sad now. The midwives had a good look at Asher's placenta, as they always do, and then cut a few small pieces off. These were blended into a fruit smoothie, which I drank. Yes, I drank some of the placenta, raw, in a smoothie. Placentaphagy is shown to slow post-partum bleeding and help reduce the mood swings and even depression that can often affect new mothers. (In fact, all other mammal mothers eat their placentas too...) And by the way, I couldn't taste it at all.

Anyway, the rest of it, we wrapped up in a waterproof pad with a lot of salt and some lavender essential oil. We have kept this in a bowl next to Asher, and refreshed it daily. It doesn't smell at all...well, it smells like lavender! The first day, the cord was floppy and cold, and gradually shrank in diameter. The second day, it was getting dry in the middle, but still flexible at the belly button and placenta ends. It basically just got more and more dry, and pretty stiff, though it still had a little flexibility in it. We would just move the bowl from side to side, depending on how we wanted to hold Asher. It was a little awkward but not too big of a deal. We just wrapped the blankets loosely around him. The cord ended up having quite a bit of blanket fuzz on it!

Unfortunately, by yesterday afternoon, which was the 4th day, the cord was so dried out, it had basically shrunken and gotten pretty short. The bowl could really only be within about 12 inches of Asher's body. It was also getting pretty stiff, so that if we bumped it, it seemed to pull his belly button. By the evening, moving the bowl from side to side was really causing problems. If you didn't move it just so, it would twist, and poor Asher would cry. Around bedtime, I got to feeling like enough was enough. It was pretty close to detaching anyway, maybe a day away, but it was hurting my baby. I decided it would be best to just snip it off. But when I did, Asher really jumped and started wailing! He was agitated, restless, crying and pretty much inconsolable for the next 4 hours. It was like a magic spell had been broken. He finally fell asleep from exhaustion, and seems fine today. But something has really changed for me. Even though I've been thinking a lot about all of this, somehow today I haven't been able to stop myself from swaddling him up and lying him on the bed, instead of holding him on my chest while he's sleeping. I even got up and carried him into the living room! Obviously, these are things that would have happened soon enough anyway, but it seems premature. That little stump is still firmly attached, telling me maybe we are not ready for this just yet, warning me to slow down and stick to the plan. I feel a little weird about not being patient enough to let things happen in their own time. This Lotus birth journey has already taught me a lot, but clearly I still have more to learn.

The following are photos of the placenta and cord. They might be a little gross to some people, so view at your own risk!

Asher's First Days

What you've all been waiting for - more baby pictures! Also I realized I forgot to tell the vital statistics! Asher weighed 8 lbs, 4 oz. That's a quarter pound MORE than Gregory! He was 20 1/4 inches long, the same as Greg. If you didn't catch it way back when, his full name is Asher Everett Fix. Asher is a Hebrew name meaning "Happy (or) Blessed", and is the name of one of the sons of Jacob in the Bible. Everett has Germanic and English origins, and means "Strong as a wild boar." Happy, Blessed, and Strong - we hope so!

Big Weekend!

The last few days have been rather exciting at our house.

On Wednesday afternoon, Gregory went for his annual checkup at the doctor. He weighed 26.6 lbs and was 35 inches tall. He is about 5th percentile for his age! Hey, somebody has to be! He also had some blood drawn to check for lead levels, etc. He did not think that was very fun, and still won't let us take the bandage off... Oh well, it'll fall off eventually!

Gregory celebrated his third birthday on Thursday. He really enjoyed opening presents and playing with his new things: some books from Grandma Bonnie, mini Bilibos from Auntie Kayla, and a tutu (Vikings colors, of course) and a giant floor keyboard from Mommy and Daddy.


On Friday morning, a package from Grandma Mary and Grandpa Nick arrived. Gregory loved the ViewMaster, plastic bugs, Tu-tok-a-nula book, and CD. Then we got ready to head out for the day. Our Attachment Parenting group here in the Twin Cities is very active, and this weekend was their camping trip. Being close to the end of my pregnancy, we opted not to actually camp, but the site was only about 10 mins away, so it was easy to go hang out. We spent a lot of the day on Friday there, came home for nap and dinner, and went back to play a little more and have S'mores in the evening.



That morning, I had (TMI warning!) lost some of my mucous plug, but nothing else new was really going on and being two weeks before my due date, I really didn't think too much of it. Well when we got home from the camping site I really was getting a bit uncomfortable. I couldn't really sleep and by about 11:30 I was getting up to the bathroom quite a lot. Dan said twice that maybe we should call the midwife, but it wasn't until about 12:30 that I really started considering calling someone. By then I was really having contractions, feeling shaky and nauseous and making labor noises. I called my doula, Janine, at 1 and told her I wasn't sure if I was really going to have the baby tonight. She decided to come over. Shortly thereafter we also called the midwife, Clare. She headed over too. Interestingly, neither of them had gone to bed yet!

Labor progressed slowly, contractions seemed far apart, but strong, and I was feeling normal in between them. There would be a short one, a little harder one, and then a few big ones in a row that sent me retreating to the bathroom. Pretty soon our other midwife, Emme, arrived. I felt bad that I had all these people out of bed waiting for me and it didn't seem to be going anywhere. After all, there had been many lighthearted comments about a one-hour labor during our prenatal visits. Usually second babies come quicker than the first, and Gregory only took a little over 3 hours... So much for that theory! By 3:30, Dan and I were getting pretty darn tired. I was just so sleepy and things were going really slow. We just rested in between contractions and actually got some sleep. When the sun started coming up, seemed like things started to pick up again a little. Gregory woke up and started doing his thing, and he brought a lot of energy. I sat in the bath tub for a little while to try to relax, and while it was nice, it didn't really help move things along. We all had a chat and figured the baby must be in a strange position. Emme and Janine felt my tummy during a contraction and they thought they might be feeling a shoulder above my pubic bone. Clare and Emme thought an inversion (going upside down) would be good, followed by lunges. At that point, I was willing to try it, knowing it would make everything hurt worse, but also knowing that we had to go there to get the baby unstuck. Well it worked! By halfway through the lunges, there was definite progress. My body started pushing hard. Though I had been leaking fluid for a while, there was a big pop and gush. We were in the carpeted living room so thank goodness the midwives had laid down plenty of waterproof pads! I was kind of standing up, holding onto Dan for support, but as the baby's head came down, it felt like I didn't have enough room for him to get out. I asked them to help me down to a knee. With another contraction or two, the head was born. Another one, and he was here! It was 8:10 am. He cried a little right away and I sat down on the floor with him. Emme, then Janine sat behind me for support.

I really still could not believe he was born already! He was so cute, looked a bit like Gregory did, and was surprisingly chubby for being two weeks early. Dan didn't think he looked as big as Greg was. His hair looked dark, but seems like it always does until it gets washed, which we still haven't done! I think he has a dimple on the right too, but I've only seen it a couple times.

Aside from being significantly longer than my first labor, this time also seemed a lot harder. I think a lot of it was mental. I just didn't feel ready. We had planned on having a birth pool set up ahead of time, but we didn't even have it in the house yet. Our water was all rusty from some plumbing work we had done earlier in the week, so even if we had set up a pool, I am not sure we would have used it with the rusty water anyway! None of our support people (i.e., Grandmas!) for Gregory were in town yet. So I guess I was just not mentally ready to have the baby, but he had other ideas. Much of the beginning of labor felt like a tug of war between my head and my body. I wasn't really committed. Even when I cut off the yarn from my Blessingway and said I was committed, I didn't really feel like it in my heart. I think it wasn't until the morning, when I was so tired, I just couldn't really fight it anymore, I gave up, stopped thinking, and started just doing what I was told! I don't know that it could have been any other way. This baby had positioning issues throughout the whole pregnancy, which I had done a lot of bodywork to try to correct. He just had his own needs, his own way he needed to come out, which was not the easiest way. I hope that if that is a character trait, that he just does things his own unconventional, yet ultimately successful way, not necessarily the "hard way" in life! I am quite sure that if I would have been in the hospital with an epidural, I would have ended up with a c-section. But with the great support I had at home, we were able to get through it. I hope I can be that kind of support for Asher as he grows, to help him get through things and not end up scarred!

Well, its only been a day and a half, but we are all completely in love with our new little guy. He nurses like a champ already. We decided not to cut the umbilical cord, for no other reason than that I didn't feel like it. We're putting salt and lavender on the placenta and the cord is drying out and will probably fall off tomorrow or the next day. We are staying in bed, except for bathroom breaks, another difference from Gregory's birth, when we were up and going out right away. I tell ya, babymooning in bed is such the way to go! However, this might be the only time that I do regret not having a TV in the bedroom! Poor Dan has been trying to keep up with Gregory until Grandma Bonnie arrives tomorrow afternoon. Greg has been acting a little nutty, which I am sure is to be expected. He is just so loud and rowdy...but he really adores Asher, wants to be near him, give him hugs and kisses, and bring him clothes, toys and books. Here are some pictures for now, and we'll keep adding more as the days go on!

New Baby Preparations

We are on the final countdown before the new baby arrives. The infant car seat is installed in the van, the diapers are all stocked in the dresser, the birth kit is assembled. Our weekly check-ups with our midwife team continue to go great - baby is healthy, mommy is healthy. Mommy is also getting really uncomfortable! However, a weekly regiment of chiropractic adjustments and massages have been helping a lot!

On Saturday night, my wonderful friend and doula, Janine, along with our friend Allison, hosted a Blessingway for me. A Blessingway is a different kind of baby shower. Instead of bringing presents and playing silly games, guests bring special food, a bead for a necklace, and share a lot of good wishes and good energy for the birthing mom. Its a time for the community of women to come together to support her and to honor the milestone in her life. There were a lot of beautiful rituals, starting with a welcome chant and sage-incense cleansing of the house, which is meant to clear away negative energy. I was crowned with a flower wreath, then we shared a meal of foods that reminded each woman of her own mom, family, or comfort. The bead necklace is made up of beads chosen by each woman for the mom, for her to wear or have in her space during her birth. Guests also wrote intentions on cloth squares, which will be made into prayer-flags to hang up in the birth space as well. We did a really wonderful ceremony of releasing fears, where each person was able to express a fear to be released by sprinkling sage on a flame. Then we had a yarn ceremony, tying us all to each other in a web of support. Everyone will wear their red yarn bracelets until the baby is born. Much pampering ensued, including a shoulder massage, foot washing and massage, hair brushing and braiding, and henna design on the belly. We had plenty of henna left, so everyone else got a small design too! I can't express how loved and supported I felt being the center of all this amazing feminine attention! Its amazing to be part of a community that takes care of each other this way!
Photography by Allison Kuznia

Gregory had fun playing with my flower crown too!


Sunday morning we had a photographer come over to do some maternity photos. It was a little damp and muddy, but we made the best of it! Its been hard for me to take a lot of pictures of myself this pregnancy, partly because I'm always chasing Gregory, and partly because I am a lot bigger this time and its hard to see! But Gabby managed to make me feel beautiful. I think of it as documenting the first stage in a series of upcoming changes - waiting, birthing, getting to know our new baby...its a transition process into a new phase of our lives.
Photography by Gabby Hagelstrom


This Thursday will be Gregory's 3rd birthday! I can't believe my baby is such a big boy, and we have a few special little things planned for him, which I'll update afterwards! It's great to have a chance to spoil him and give him a lot of attention right before the new baby comes! He also has a Dr checkup and his first trip to the Dentist coming up, so there will be a lot to share!